Annual Village Fete T-Shirts

'My God! He must have been there since the last one!'

Prize vegetables.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

AA Meeting Here Today

See you at the farmers market!

Church Basement Foodie

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Abstract expressionist face painting.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Maypole

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

Ventriloquist's fete

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

"Can we discuss this?"

Tombola Winner

"Hello. . . I'm new in town. Do you know where the local police station is? - I need to sign in. . !"

57th Birthday balloons

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Garage sale.

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

"It's been a rainy winter."

'Hey! Kid in the blue! Where'd you get that BEER?'

'An egg and spoon race! That's horrible!'

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."