Viking Reenactor Gifts

"I am haunted by the thought that the workers may be unhappy."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

"But I use all of them!"

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

"Friend or foe?"

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

Knight school.