Video Rental Employee Gifts

'Busy day?'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

"Please do not panic. You're only required to turn off your mobile device during the movie."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

No outside food in the theater sir.

'Dirty, lesbian, whore, bitch, gang bangs turned out to be Finding Nemo!'

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

Video Rentals Sales. Do you have movies about robots and computers? The chip flicks are over there!

Theater Usher Moms.

"Wanna rent some videos?"

"Seats in all parts!"

"It's a new policy, sir. . . you have to be wither under fourteen or over fifty to rent Jerry Lewis movies."

Man in Video Shop, "Seen it, Seen it, Seen it, wouldn't want to"

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

God at the Galalactic Videostore

Stubborn Al's Video

"The DVD you want is on my right earlobe."

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

'The movie started 40 minutes ago.'

Anteater goes on the rampage in cinema,

'I've been making popcorn for 63 years and I've never once gotten sick of the taste of it... no wait, I just did.'

'The funniest movie I have been paid to promote.'

'DO YOU HAVE A SIZE BETWEEN SMALL AND JUMBO?'

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

A cleaner in a cinema

"If we ain't got it, it ain't worth watching"

Video Shop, "His, hers, unhappy compromise."

Zombie rents from the dead box DVDs.

'Sir, are you regurgitating food from outside the theater?'

'Please help me, sir -- I haven't rented a video in three days!'

Man in video store sees video entitled: 'Police, violence, camera, legal action.'