Video Producer Gifts

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"YouTube have scrapped their dislike button and he doesn't know how to respond."

Witch has Exorcise Video.

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"I hear they running out of real video and people are faking stuff."

"Yes, I watched your audition video - twice. It's okay. But in all honesty, you just don't have that certain je ne sais quoi needed to go viral."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."