Video Producer Gifts

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"YouTube have scrapped their dislike button and he doesn't know how to respond."

You've got to stop getting all your history from Youtube and Netflix. Why? Because those are videos. People who make videos are making entertainment. It it's entertaining that means someone's constructed story. If it's a story, that means they left out or twisted whatever doesn't logically fit their narrative as told from one point of view. Accurate history would be completely illogical. Oliver Stone would disagree.

Ernie is not compatible with motion capture technology.

Witch has Exorcise Video.

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"I hear they running out of real video and people are faking stuff."

"Actually, would you mind turning and shooting at 7 paces? Any more and you'll walk out of frame for my YouTube video."

"Yes, I watched your audition video - twice. It's okay. But in all honesty, you just don't have that certain je ne sais quoi needed to go viral."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Cut!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."