Vice Vigilante Pillows

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Beware of God"

"Office of quality assurance"

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

We Value Your Privacy (Actually, we value it at around $20 a pop for every organization we sell it to).

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

A footballer is having an eye test.

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

Business cartoon of video camera spying on 'anonymous tips' box.

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

Monster in optician.

"Neighborhood Watch anti-violence meeting. Be there or else."

Computer Crimes

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

'My costume is scary data ... get it?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'