Vicarious Foodie Pillows

DESSERTS: The Joy of Looking

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Al Dante

Cheese Secret

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

Chernobyl Chow

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

Salvador Deli

Eye of Newt Helper

Vegicurious

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

'Killing two birds with one stone...bacon coffee.'

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

Roadkill Cafe...specials every day.

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"It never would have sold as 'mud pie'."

"We'll have the grilled penguin."

"...And would madam like the snail porridge?"

"You'll like this place. The food is eclectic without being schizophrenic."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

A woman looks at the menu posted in the front window of a restaurant; a nearby sign reads "Free gluten".