Veterinary Hobbyist Gifts

'Doc, I'll be eternally in your debt, I'm broke.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"I'm afraid it's curiosity."

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I got horse dewormer..."

"It hurts when I warble."

Reptilian trauma.

"First they tell you you're going in to get your bunions fixed and the next thing you know you're barking like a girl."

'Is it an emergency?'

"Plan on living long? I already am."

I'll take it off when you stop biting your stitches. Veterinarian.

'I keep forgetting... is it 'Starve a fever and feed a cold' or 'feed a fever and starve a cold'?'

'It's been a long day and he hates the snappy ones.'

'Quick, Sable dear, mouth-to-mouth respiration!'

"We were lucky to find that flamingo joint for your knee replacement."

'My wife wanted a fur coat so, for her birthday, I got her a starter kit.'

'Are you out of your mind?'

"Collapsed Udder Syndrome?"

"So what if they laugh? The world needs a little more laughter."

"We gots worms."

"You just had to have a hamster wheel and now it's just another place to hang your clothes!"

'Larry? Remember how we were criticizing the Journal...