Vet Visit Survivor Gifts

'It's only a checkup!'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Python waiting in Veterinary surgery

Dog wearing a cone

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'No need to shout.'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'The vet will see, you know!'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.