Vet Visit Survivor T-Shirts

'It's only a checkup!'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Python waiting in Veterinary surgery

Dog wearing a cone

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'No need to shout.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'The vet will see, you know!'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.