Vet Visit Veterans Gifts

"Jack Russell?"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Dog wearing a cone

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'No need to shout.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

'The vet will see, you know!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

'Here, takes these...we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'