Verbal Expression Avoider Pillows

"Instead of texting me, you want me to open my mouth and articulate thoughts? Phew, this better be good!"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I find it best to stay out of office politics!"

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

Nervous at a party.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

Sitting Out the Lambada

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'No, I don't like dancing.'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

An agony of aunts

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'I roll over and play dead when I don't want to see someone.'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

'Vice is one thing but advice is far worse!'