Venture Capitalism Gifts

Silicon Valley Bank fails, who else?

Profit

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'If we all work together, shoulder to shoulder, we can turn this company around a full 360 degrees.'

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

S.S.dot.com

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Money is life's report card."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

Businessman feeding the vultures

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

"The bottom line here, gentlemen, is that, no matter what we do, we're going to wind up getting wet."

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

"We want a management buy out - if you'll lend us the money."