Vehicular Mayhem Enjoyer Gifts

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

I break for toilet paper

'Warning! Signs damaged by careless drivers or vandals will NOT be replaced!'

Solution to chuckholes...and have fun, too!

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. II

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

What's in your back seat? Nothing. There's paper everywhere, and dirty clothes, and something that smells like a drunk threw up and then rolled around in it. That looks like ancient cheese. Introducing: The flaw. You haven't cleaned this since the '90s. Big whoop.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

Encouraging a car with a fuel can on a stick (black and white).

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

"They used to blow the ferry horn without warning. One time I made it to the dock before the boat did!"

'Sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Our computer system is acting up.'

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

'Happy Father's Day, Dad. You were always there for me, except for that close call on highway 16.'

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

'Can you hang on for half an hour? We're still waiting for the reality TV crew to turn up'

"Isn't that one of Mr. Ferguson's wheels?"

Road rage on board.

"It's okay. I've got pet insurance."

Crash test dummy standing by his car.A sign on it says 'My other car is a write off'.

Road chaos as new gas pipe is laid.

"Okay, maybe I did run that red light a little. But in my defence, I was too drunk to notice."

Unintended consequences.

Ducklings cause racing track collisions.

"This is nothing - you should see my driving instructor!"

Surrounded by iPhone users, Harold finds himself unable to answer his unfashionable cellphone.

'Maybe you shouldn't use a phone during a demolition derby.'

Hello, claims department please!