Vegas Escapist Gifts

"And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her, and two of her friends, I think one was a dude, then we all did Ecstasy, rented a limo, and went to Vegas—but I swear that's all that happened."

An affair to remember.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'See you in two weeks!'

Skier and his dog.

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"How to deal with weeds."

"Mr. Jenkins' idea of paradise is a never occupied loo, a big flat screen with hundreds of free sports channels and a fridge that always gets refilled with beer and pizza."

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

Viva Las Vegas.

"You were supposed to stay in Vegas."

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

'Let's see..I found you on friday, so I'll call you Frasier.'

Excess Baggage: At times the cheapest ticket deals leave a lot to be desired.

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

Help! I'm trapped on this Island! No wait, there's the the tour bus...

'Trust me, using this cheap perfume to mask our scents is going to confuse the hounds...'

"It's great having all the space, but Dan has been missing the city a bit."

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

"How would you feel about a little place in the city, just to get away from all the hunting and gathering?"

"Well, your STD panel came back... turns out what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas."

"No man is an island, but I come pretty damn close."