Vegan Vampire Hunter Pillows

Ghost Train for vegans...

"States of tofu"

He looks so natural lying there...

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

'... Got anything besides apples?'

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

The Last Dinner

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

'Hey, a fly! This is supposed to be vegetarian soup.'

Van Helsing's plans are thwarted by the Count's new anti-staking device.

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'