Vegan Vampire Pillows

'Eddie's a ghoul and a vegan.'

"States of tofu"

Queen of Quinoa

Give quiche a chance!

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Your life is in great danger...

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

"How almond milk is made"

I guess I outta take science classes if I'm really going to help the environment. What for? You want to be a famous actress

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

"Suddenly the idea of becoming a vegetarian sounds very romantic."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"