Vegan Superhero Pillows

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"States of tofu"

North Pole

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"How almond milk is made"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

'... Got anything besides apples?'

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

The Last Dinner

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"