Vegan Trophy Hunter Pillows

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

Man to other about fish on wall: Heh - I use that size fish for bait!'

Fishing Boat Derby

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Bang!"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"For crying out loud, cut that thing loose! It's just not worth a trophy."

Cat Olympics

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

'No bonus this year, Felton, but I've nominated you for a Grammy.'

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

'... Got anything besides apples?'

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'Hey, a fly! This is supposed to be vegetarian soup.'

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

The Last Dinner