Vegan Meal Planner Gifts

"I thought I was safe planning a vegan staff Christmas dinner."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'Of course, if your father was any kind of provider, we'd be eating fresh salmon for breakfast!'

"I'm in the mood for meat."

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."