Vegetarian Meal Planner Gifts

"One vegetarian meal, one vegan meal, and one box of eucalyptus leaves."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

The Perfect Garden.

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"