Vegan Debating Gifts

"If we go vegan, can we eat pollen, but not nectar or vice versa or both or neither?"

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

Woman looking at apples in a grocery store with labels that say "Apples", "Genetically modified apples" and "Mutant apples from outer space".

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

'Soy milk, soy burgers...imagine being replaced by a bean.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

Waitrose Vegan Burgers

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

Children of the Genetically Modified Corn

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

G.M. leaf.

Eat Meat For the Environment!

'Here's a song for all of you who are conflicted over whether or not it's safe to eat genetically-modified food.'

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

"I feel bad about eating them...but they're so yummy."

"Wait...you don't have a vegan option?"

Cigarettes arriving at Animal Research Centre - Hooray!

"Well, the meal was vegan until the prep-cook cut his finger julienning the carrots."

Health Foods: Closed Due to Illness

Man at restaurant is presented with his roast pig, as the pigs grieving family look on.

"Well, let's just say it's half a plant-based food!"

"I warned him not to go vegan."

Vegetarian Nightmare

'So, 'hamburger'...pig or cow?'

"I was arguing with a bunch of vegetarians. One thing led to another and I wound up eating something that disagreed with me."

"You are sure he's not genetically modified?"

"Good luck with your interview, and don't forget to mention that you are a gender neutral, vegan, climate change campaigner."