Veg Head Gifts

Cucumber yearbooks,

"Pinching, squeezing, smelling...I love interactive shopping."

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

"States of tofu"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

When We'll Take the Environment Seriously

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

I guess I outta take science classes if I'm really going to help the environment. What for? You want to be a famous actress

'Not a shed, just a shop.'