Veg Head Prints

Cucumber yearbooks,

"Pinching, squeezing, smelling...I love interactive shopping."

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

"States of tofu"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

Dreams of Spring...