Veal Virtuoso T-Shirts

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

Poetry repairman

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Wino Appreciation Group

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Writer

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'