Vanity Tables Gifts

Yummy Mummy

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."