Vanity Tables T-Shirts

Yummy Mummy

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

TV-Mirror.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Buy them - and never look back."