Vanity Table Appreciator T-Shirts

Hair Brushing.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

Vanity artist

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

Narcissus

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'