Vanity Evaluator T-Shirts

"Great! O.K., this time I want you to sound taller, and let me hear a little more hair."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"Hair spray"

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Vanity artist

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'