Vanity Examiner T-Shirts

The crow was not that unhappy with her body but absolutely hated her feet.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"Hair spray"

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Vanity artist

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

TV-Mirror.

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

Rabbit has cosmetically enhanced teeth: 'I always said that when I could afford to I'd get them fixed.'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

"You're so vein."

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

Narcissus

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."