Vanity Evaluator Pillows

"Great! O.K., this time I want you to sound taller, and let me hear a little more hair."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

"Hair spray"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

Vanity artist

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

TV-Mirror.

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."