Vanity Aficionados Gifts

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 3- Street Lamps Lighting a Lady's Toilet Mirror

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

Vanity artist

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

The Paper Silhouette Editor

Tanning Machine on the beach

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

Stars Without Make-Up.

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'