Vanity Anglers T-Shirts

'I'll trade you three eight-inch shiners for that 24-inch bass.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

Trawling for Fish.

Vanity artist

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Buy them - and never look back."

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'