Vanity Anglers Pillows

'I'll trade you three eight-inch shiners for that 24-inch bass.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'I caught one, I actually caught one.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Trawling for Fish.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Vanity artist

TV-Mirror.

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Buy them - and never look back."

Toupee in a tin.

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'