Vampire-loving Child Pillows

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Vlad the Impala

'... And this is my cellar.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

A vampire in a canoe.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

He looks so natural lying there...

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Get on with it!

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

How to fight a vampire snowman

"I know. But I think I can change him."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Fancy a pint?

Vampire on a plane

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"