Vampire-loving Child Gifts

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Vlad the Impala

'... And this is my cellar.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire in a canoe.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

He looks so natural lying there...

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Get on with it!

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"I know. But I think I can change him."

How to fight a vampire snowman

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Fancy a pint?

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Vampire on a plane

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'