Vampire Movie Lover Gifts

The schizophrenic vampire.

'He is not my pet...he is my son!'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Vlad the Impala

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'He likes to power nap.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

A vampire in a canoe.

"Bloody hell!"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"The Eggsorcist"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

He looks so natural lying there...

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"