Vampire Enthusiast Pillows

A vampire in a canoe.

'Daylight Savings Time claims another victim.'

'No! This isn't the place to order a blood transfusion!'

'Coffee won't help. I'm just not a morning person.'

Hey Doug just out of interest, did you run a reference check on that new guy?

Vampire Blood Donor - I've never done this before.

'He's our new Blood and Haematology Specialist.'

'Oh no, not another blood sample.'

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

'Sorry. We can't pay on your life insurance policy. You apparently didn't read our 'living dead' clause.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"And now may I bite your neck?"

Vampire eating a 'Clot Noodle'.

'I diet all year, and - BOOM - one haemophiliac and it's back to square one!'

"The bedbugs got to me first."

"Junior. Drink your blood before it clots"

'You're not showing up at all on any of the X-rays.'

"Oh waiter! Will you pass me the anticoagulant please?"

'I agree O-positive is rather nice, but my favourite by far is AB-negative...'

Vampire feeding her baby with a hospital blood drip

'He's our new Blood and Haematology Specialist,'

"Your last victim was so obese, you've now got diabetes!"

'... And this is my cellar.'

A vampire's pet peeves.

Blood transfusion service recruitment - "So you can only work nights!"

"Are you concerned about stockholders?"

'That's one of the drawbacks of butterfly hunting in Transylvania!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'The good news is, we know what's wrong with you.'

Santa: 'Of course I'm a vampire! How else could I have lived for 300 years?'

Blood donor clinic - here today.

'He's out all night and sleeps all day.'

'New coagulate toothpaste'

"Did you put garlic in the pasta?"

'Good resume, but I just can't see you working here.'