Vampire Aficionado Pillows

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire brushing his teeth in his bathroom.

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'I can only teach night classes.'

Wolfman riding in the Car

From the moment his blind date showed up, the Count knew it wasn't going to work out.

'As a matter of fact I am an artist, but I only draw blood'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Unfortunately Dracula had forgotten all about daylight saving time.

'Since I started drinking AB Positive blood, I feel a lot better about myself!'

'I'll make a good lawyer. I know how to go for the jugular.'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'This is a stick up!'

Mom says to put some moonblock on my back.

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

DUBUFFET THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Vampire with a violin

Vampire practical jokes.

Halloween Vampire

'Aah...a new duvet.'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

A vampire with a darkness flashlight

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

"Another bill?"

Dracula gets bitten by a mosquito

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

"Let's take a selfie."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"You've been grinding your fangs."

"Listen, I'm not going to keep letting you in and out all day."

“This particular variety was incredibly full-bodied.”

The vampire...at the game

"Accursed Daylight Saving Time!"

"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you now, but please leave your name and number after the sound of the tone and I'll call you back a little after twilight!"

"The two of you should have lots to talk about."