Vampire Enthusiasts Pillows

'I'd better warn you - I've got high cholesterol!'

Blood Desert

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"I'm not much of an early riser."

'I'm sorry, but the comfort of our coffins has never been an issue before!'

You're SORRY?!! You bite the manager in the neck and fly out the window and all you can say is you're SORRY?!!

Count Dorkula.

'Don't you love fast food'

A vampire preferring to use a napkin when sucking blood.

'What is the Bloody Mary made with? A? B? Rhesus negative? The menu doesn't say.'

'I've had no appetite ever since I developed a bleeding ulcer!'

'You're the architect, of course, but I really think we should go with the gazebo instead of the reflecting pool.'

''Fancy a quick pint?'

"Listen, kids...I always brush my teeth with..."

'Now I can tape my soaps during the day and watch them at night.'

'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

Plasma Screen

'I could have had a V-8!'

Transylvanian Snails.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Faux pas at a Transylvanian dinner party, "Hey everybody we bought some garlic bread"

One advantage of being a vampire is that you use electricity in the cheap non-peak hours.

"Yes, a lot of peple say that I remind them of Christopher Lee"

Harker, go for his glasses! Without them, he's blind as a bat!!

Darko Sunscreen, SPF 5000, the sun block preferred by 9 out of 10 vampires.

Dracula's breath...

Van Helsing's plans are thwarted by the Count's new anti-staking device.

Dracula vs the snooz bitton!

"This isn't good for my blood pressure. . ."

blood dispenser.

"My new day job is killing me."

Chances of making it back to the castle by daybreak suddenly seemed slim.

'It's a Vapire.'

"O positive, why?"

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

"Bad news, Count...you're grinding your fangs at night."