Vampire Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'I'd better warn you - I've got high cholesterol!'

Blood Desert

"I'm not much of an early riser."

'What is the Bloody Mary made with? A? B? Rhesus negative? The menu doesn't say.'

A vampire preferring to use a napkin when sucking blood.

'Don't you love fast food'

'I'm sorry, but the comfort of our coffins has never been an issue before!'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

Count Dorkula.

You're SORRY?!! You bite the manager in the neck and fly out the window and all you can say is you're SORRY?!!

blood dispenser.

Dracula's breath...

Van Helsing's plans are thwarted by the Count's new anti-staking device.

Dracula vs the snooz bitton!

"This isn't good for my blood pressure. . ."

Transylvanian Snails.

"My new day job is killing me."

Chances of making it back to the castle by daybreak suddenly seemed slim.

'It's a Vapire.'

"O positive, why?"

'Really? Meeting a vampire is scary, yet it's the capitalistic society that sucks us dry every day!'

"O+ Harvest of ;92."

Harker, go for his glasses! Without them, he's blind as a bat!!

"Yes, a lot of peple say that I remind them of Christopher Lee"

One advantage of being a vampire is that you use electricity in the cheap non-peak hours.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Faux pas at a Transylvanian dinner party, "Hey everybody we bought some garlic bread"

'Now I can tape my soaps during the day and watch them at night.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

"Listen, kids...I always brush my teeth with..."

'You're the architect, of course, but I really think we should go with the gazebo instead of the reflecting pool.'

'I've had no appetite ever since I developed a bleeding ulcer!'

''Fancy a quick pint?'

'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

Plasma Screen

Darko Sunscreen, SPF 5000, the sun block preferred by 9 out of 10 vampires.