Valentine's Prankster Gifts

'Next year could I just have the chocolate?'

Bubble Gum Farms.

"This will be hilarious!"

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Diving Cat.

'I could eat you.'

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

'They were all out of roses.'

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

Cheeky boy and putting 'leeks' sign on toilet.

Snowman throws snowball at Santa.

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

When comedians propose marriage.

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!

Write "Brenda' but use disappearing ink

I thought we'd get fake tattoos of each other's names. If we're still together in 10 years, we'll get real ones.'

'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

'Honey, this is Alonzo

Man is walking his dachshund with a Happy Valentines Day balloon tied around dog's belly lifting it off of the sidewalk.

'...Psst...heel...heel Ben, psst...'

'If my husband comes home, duck out that door. . . He'll never see you.'

"Suspect apprehended... Caught bowhunting without a license and indecent exposure..."

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

'Aagh- are you sure you checked the smell-by date?'