Vacation Varmint Gifts

'Now that's an afro!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

Airlines

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Pina Coladas

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Lounging by the pool

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Heading off with a packed bag

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

Travelogue

"Life after death"

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Think, Billy - where did you bury Dad?'

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Watching Sea Life.

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

"I'd like one of your bucket and spade holidays."

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"How could you forget where you buried dad. You do know he has the car keys in his pocket?"