Vacation Varmint Gifts

'Now that's an afro!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Airlines

Pina Coladas

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Lounging by the pool

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Heading off with a packed bag

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Life after death"

Travelogue

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

Watching Sea Life.

'Think, Billy - where did you bury Dad?'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"I'd like one of your bucket and spade holidays."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."