Vacation Punter Pillows

'You and your cheap flights!!'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"Not too much off my back."

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Saloon Selectives

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

"We can patch 'em, but you'd have to settle for half-decent intentions."

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

"You're a bottlenose dolphin – find me a bottle!"

Kanoe/Cayak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, there is an uptown train a hundred and two stations away."

"I brought my wife a mink for her birthday, but she refuses to clean out its cage."

Gambler And Umpire

Octopus porter.

Swimming lanes in a bathtub

The God's football

"I think we need to spend some time apart."

"You're Not Bending Your Knees."

"My paycheque this month is actually less than I made on the football pool."

'Hey, it's my first retirement check!'