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Death Takes A Time-Share

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

Easter Island legs

Tourists

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Working Holiday

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Hiding the electronics.

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Travelling

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

Lounging by the pool

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

"...and this is one of us on the beach."

A couple sit in front of their RV drinking wine while looking at birds sitting in front of a a small RV in a tree also drink wine.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

The Perfect Cannonball