Vacation Property Seller T-Shirts

These bastard midges can really ruin our holiday!

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

Mouse real estate!

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"You should consider buying."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

That's my summer place.

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

"Rapunzel? She bought a time-share in Costa Rica. I'm Larry."

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

Death Takes A Time-Share

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

"It's in move-in condition."

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

Real Estate Life

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

'It's a dump, but it's a steal at this price.'

Harris Realty We Make House Calls

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

Mr. & Mrs. Putty get dream home.

"And if what they say about global warming is true you should have year round use of the pool by 2075."

Valentines for Real Estate

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"I bought a new summer condo."

"It's not a listing error. This really is a dream house because you have to imagine it."

'Location, location, location.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'