Selling Property T-Shirts

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I'm not sure we'll be able to sell your property. Since all this talk of global warming, the north pole isn't the prime location it once was.'

"This property comes highly recommended...!"

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Mouse real estate!

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Home Sweet Second Home.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

Igloo sales

'They're playing house.'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

House sale.