Vacation Home Purchase Gifts

Death Takes A Time-Share

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

That's my summer place.

Tourists

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Easter Island legs

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Working Holiday

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Hiding the electronics.

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Travelling

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

Lounging by the pool

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

A couple sit in front of their RV drinking wine while looking at birds sitting in front of a a small RV in a tree also drink wine.

"...and this is one of us on the beach."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.