Username Creator Gifts

'I was usernamed after my aunt.'

"Would you like some usernames with your passwords, or do you prefer them plain?"

The Map of the human brain

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

Creator's Block

'No, Igor, not Phillips head...Flat head! Flat head! Bring me the flat head!'

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

'It's my pseudonym.'

"It's about the world's smartest girl, her caring father, her fun-loving great aunt and her annoying, car-obsessed big brother."

"Well, I've been struggling to write a book about my struggle to write a book..."

"That's out idea department – the door was one of their ideas."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

Ian McEwan

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

'All the characters in my novels are based on real people, for example the fat useless waster in my last one was you!'

God's Writers Block

How to make a concept album

'The internet brings everyone closer.'

'John and I have agreed on 'Mary Kate Elizabeth,' but we're still working on a screen name.'

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"

"White Rabbit, Cottontail and Mr. Fluffy. Why the code names?"

Charles Dickens.

How to appear more interesting.

'So the new villain in my book is a-.'

"This formula was a total flop, but on the bright side, it will make a great password!"