Creator Gifts

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

God's Writers Block

Creator's Block

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Edgar Allen Poe

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"