Urban Driving Gifts

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

New Smart Car.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Why do they do that?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"I need to tinkle."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

The Fast Lane.

Cats on Board.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"What old school? This is my life."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

How am I abducting?

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.